— Yes.
— It will be twenty when you are almost a hundred!
— And you will be fifty-three when she is twenty. This does not make you incapable of being a brother.
He looked at me.
— I’m not her brother.
— By blood.
— That doesn’t mean anything.
My tears flowed.
Not because his words surprised me.
And because they were confirmation of what I had learned the day I told them about pregnancy.
They were not afraid for me.
They were afraid for themselves.
Six months earlier, I had invited Sylvia and Mikhail to lunch.
I prepared their favorite things.
Complete peppers for Sylvia.
Homemade moussaka for Mikhail.
I had bought a cake with strawberries because the grandchildren would come later.
Todor was in Ruse then. I wasn’t ready to tell them about him yet.
We were sitting at the table in the dining room.
Sylvia was telling me about her job. Mikhail complained about some repairs in the office.
I watched my children and thought about how old they were.
Then I said:
— I have to share something with you.
They were silent.
— I’m pregnant.
At first they thought I was kidding.
Then they saw my face.
Sylvia laughed nervously.
— Mom, that’s not funny.
— I’m not kidding.
Mikhail turned pale.
— What does this mean?
— Means I’m expecting a child.
Sylvia started crying.
Not happy.
— Are you sick? Does anyone blackmail you? Has anyone deceived you?
— No.
— Who is the man?
— I’ll tell you when the time comes.
Mikhail stood up.
— No „time “. This must be terminated.
At that moment, I realized they weren’t talking about me.
They talk about the inconvenience.
For people.
For the neighbors.
About what our last name will look like.
— I will not terminate the pregnancy — I said.
— You can’t do that! — called Sylvia.
— I already do.
Then the calls started.
First every day.
Then several times a day.
„Think about your health. “
„Think about what people will say. “
„Think of us. “
But the words „thought of us “ gradually began to mean something else.
Mikhail asked me if I had changed my will.
Sylvia asked me if Todor was right on my property.
Then I learned that they went to a notary to ask how you could ask for an attachment.
The day Emilia was born, they sent me a letter.
No greeting.
Not flowers.
Request for a court assessment of my mental state.
Then I cried.
Not because of the case.
And because I realized that my children no longer see their mother.
They see a key to inheritance.
Sylvia finally spoke in the courtroom.
— This is not fair.
I looked at her.
— Which is not fair?
— You did everything secretly. You didn’t tell us about Todor. You didn’t tell us about the procedure. He just told us one day that he would have a baby.
— Because I knew how you would react.
— How could you know?
— Because I know my children.
She swallowed.
— I was afraid for you.
— Maybe in the beginning.
— And now I’m afraid!
— From what?
She looked at Emilia.
— From the fact that you will not be able to. That you will get sick. That you will die. That this girl will be left without a mother.
Her words hurt me.
Not because they weren’t possible.
And because they were the most human words she had said since the beginning of the case.
I looked at the baby.
Little Emilia slept peacefully.
Yes, I could die.
I could get sick.
I could not be with her as long as I wanted.
But no parent has a guarantee.
Young parents are dying.
Healthy parents get sick.
Life is not a contract.
— And I’m afraid — I said quietly. — Every day. But I didn’t want this child because I believe I will live forever. I wanted her because I realized I could still love. And because I have the opportunity to give her a home, care and security.
Todor stood up.
His cane rubbed on the floor.
— Your Honor, can I say something?
