— What does this have to do with the baby? — asked.
I looked at Todor.
He sat quietly in the last row, with a cane between his knees.
— Two years ago he found me.
There was a whisper in the hall.
— How? — asked the judge.
— Through an old high school friend of mine. He saw a picture of a graduation meeting. He asked about me. He learned that I was a widow. He found my address.
Mikhail laughed nervously.
— And what? After fifty years, he just knocked on the door and you decided to have a child?
— It wasn’t like that.
— How was it then?
He spoke with anger.
But behind his anger I could hear panic.
He didn’t want to know.
Because if he knew, he would have to admit that I’m not a crazy old woman.
I was a man with my own life.
With his own story.
With his own right to choose.
— The first time Todor came, I didn’t let him go — on. — I stood behind the door and cried. Not because I didn’t want to see him. And because I was afraid I would see how long it was.
— And then? — quietly asked Sylvia.
— Then we met in a cafe. We talked for three hours. Then four. Then all day.
Todor smiled slightly.
— She was still ordering sugar-free coffee — he said.
For a moment I felt something like heat.
Then I looked at my children.
And the heat disappeared.
— We didn’t plan anything — I said. — We didn’t plan to get married. We did not plan to have a child. It’s just … we went back to each other.
— At seventy-nine years? — whispered Sylvia.
— I’m still alive at seventy-nine, Sylvia.
She pulled away, as if my words had hit her.
— I’m not saying you’re not alive.
— Then why are you talking about me as if I were furniture that needs to be collected when they get too old?
The judge did not interrupt me.
— You said that the child is your biological — he noted.
My lawyer stood up.
— Yes, Your Honor. Ms. Mileva and Mr. Stoyanov used a medical procedure legally performed abroad with an egg that Mrs. Mileva had preserved many years ago for personal reasons. Pregnancy was worn by a surrogate mother under a contract which was settled under the laws of the country concerned. There is complete medical and legal documentation.
The hall exploded in noise.
Sylvia covered her mouth.
Mikhail hit the table with a palm.
— This is madness!
The judge raised his voice:
— Silence in the hall!
Emilia moved.
I started rocking her lightly.
She was so small.
And around her, old people were screaming, arguing and trying to decide if he had the right to exist.
— I don’t owe you an explanation for every step of my personal life — I said. — But I owe you the truth because you are my children. And the truth is, I wasn’t deceived. I was not forced. I was not confused. I made this decision after months of medical advice, conversations with Todor, lawyers and specialists.
— You are seventy-nine! — called Mikhail.
