Every scenario ended with Leo scared, and every second without an answer made me sicker.
The truth was, Brenda had been circling this moment for months.
She hated Leo’s hair.
Not in the harmless, old-fashioned way some relatives dislike long styles on little boys.
Brenda hated it like it offended her personally.
Every visit came with some cutting remark.
“He looks like a girl.” “You need to do something about that mess.” “People are going to think you don’t know how to raise boys.”
Mark shut her down every time.
He never raised his voice, but he got very still when he was angry, and that stillness always made Brenda back off for the moment.
“Leo’s hair is not up for discussion, Mom,” he would say.
She would smile that stiff, polished smile and move on, but I never believed she’d accepted it.
Brenda didn’t accept things.
She waited.
When her car finally pulled into the driveway just after two, I was outside before the tires stopped rolling.
I opened the back door and Leo looked up at me with a face so wet and blotchy it barely looked like my child.
In his little fist, he was clutching something curled and blond.
One of his curls.
The rest of them were gone.
All those soft golden spirals that bounced against his forehead and ears had been shaved down into a choppy, uneven buzz cut.
It was so rough I could see where the clippers had bitten too close in one spot above his temple.
Whatever Brenda had done, she hadn’t taken him to a barber who
cared.
It looked rushed.
It looked angry.
“Leo, baby, what happened?” I asked, though I already knew.
His mouth trembled.
“Grandma cut it, Mommy.”
Brenda stepped out from the driver’s side with the air of a woman delivering groceries.
“There,” she said, brushing her palms together.
“Now he looks like a real boy.
You can thank me later.”
I remember the rush of heat in my face and the cold in my hands at the same time.
I remember asking her if she had lost her mind.
I remember her rolling her eyes and saying I was being dramatic, that hair grew back, that someone had to do what was best for him.
And I remember Leo flinching every time her voice got sharper.
I took him inside because if I stayed in that driveway another ten seconds, I would have said something none of us could take back.
He curled against me on the couch, still holding that single blond ringlet so tightly it left a red half-moon in his palm.
He cried until he hiccupped.
Then he cried some more.
When Mark came home and saw our son, he stopped so abruptly his keys slipped out of his hand.
He crossed the room, knelt on the rug, and looked at Leo’s head the way a person looks at damage after a storm.
Very gently, he ran his fingers over the hacked-off patches.
Leo threw himself into Mark’s chest.
