“Then why are we talking about him?”
“Because there’s something that happened that year.”
I folded my arms.
“What?”
Mom looked toward the floor.
“You were 12.”
“I know.”
“You stopped eating lunch.”
My arms slowly dropped.
“How do you know that?”
“Because there’s something that happened that year.”
“Noah told me.”
I stared at her.
“What?”
Her eyes lifted to mine.
“He found me one afternoon.”
“Where?”
“In the school parking lot.”
Something in her expression made the room feel suddenly smaller.
“He caught me crying in the car,” Mom admitted.
I sat beside her.
“Mom…”
“He found me one afternoon.”
“I thought nobody saw me.” She rubbed her palms together. “But Noah did.”
Downstairs, faintly, I heard Noah laugh at something my aunt said.
Mom heard it too.
Her face crumpled for half a second before she controlled it.
“What did he say to you?” I urged.
“I thought nobody saw me.”
She looked at me.
“He asked me if you were broken.”
My breath caught. “Why?”
“Because you weren’t eating, sweetie. You weren’t laughing. He said you sat by yourself sometimes.”
I looked toward the door.
I’d forgotten most of those lunches.
Apparently Noah hadn’t.
“What did you tell him?”
“He asked me if you were broken.”
“I told him you weren’t broken.” Mom swallowed. “Then he said something I’ve remembered for six years.”
“What?”
Her fingers closed around mine.
A tear slipped down her cheek.
“He said, ‘Good. Because I don’t know how to fix people. I only know how to stay.'”
I couldn’t speak.
“I don’t know how to fix people. I only know how to stay.”
Mom squeezed my hands.
“For six years, Noah has kept a promise to me that you never knew existed.”
My heart began pounding.
“What promise?”
Whatever came next was the truth she’d dragged me upstairs to hear.
And suddenly, I wasn’t sure I was ready for it.
Whatever came next was the truth she’d dragged me upstairs to hear.
Mom’s voice cracked.
“I asked Noah to promise he’d look after you.”
I stared at her.
“You… what?”
“I was falling apart, Chrissy. Your father had left, you barely spoke to me, and Noah was the only person who seemed able to reach you.”
I froze.
“I asked Noah to promise he’d look after you.”
Mom wiped her cheek.
“He said, ‘Okay.’ Just like that.”
Downstairs, Noah laughed again.
Mom looked toward the door.
“And then I did something I’m ashamed of.”
“What?”
“For six years, I worried you were sacrificing too much for him,” she admitted.
I went still.
“I did something I’m ashamed of.”
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